Beign Polite

                                                                  

I work as a pediatric nurse, and often have the painful job of giving shots to children. One day upon entering the examining room to give a shot the little girl started screaming “NO! NO! NO!”
“Jessica” her mother scolded, “that is not polite behavior!”
At that the girl continued to scream “NO THANK YOU! NO THANK YOU! NO THANK YOU!”…

GOD bless

A Young boy sat at the side of his bed one night and said 'God Bless Granddad'.
The next morning his grand dad is lying dead on the floor.
Next Night he says 'God bless Grandma'.
The next morning his Grand ma s lying dead On the floor.
Next Night he says 'God bless Dad', but his dad overhears and goes straight to the hospital to get check out. All seems fine and he returns home to find the milkman dead on his doorstep.

ELEPHANT

The class teacher asks students to name an animal that begins with an “E”. One boy says, “Elephant.”
Then the teacher asks for an animal that begins with a “T”. The same boy says, “Two elephants.”
The teacher sends the boy out of the class for bad behavior. After that she asks for an animal beginning with “M”.
The boy shouts from the other side of the wall: “Maybe an elephant!”

CAPTAIN

A navy captain is alerted by his First Mate that there is a pirate ship coming towards his position. He asks a sailor to get him his red shirt.
The captain was asked, “Why do you need a red shirt?”
The Captain replies, “So that when I bleed, you guys don’t notice and aren’t discouraged.” They fight off the pirates eventually.
The very next day, the Captain is alerted that 50 pirate ships are coming towards their boat. He yells, “Get me my brown pants!”

AIRPORT

                                                                  

                      WILL'S EXPERIENCE AT THE AIRPORT

After his return from Rome, Will couldn’t find his luggage in the airport baggage area. He went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that his bags hadn’t shown up on the carousel.
She smiled and told him not to worry because they were trained professionals and he was in good hands.
Then she asked Will, “Has your plane arrived yet?”