A drunk man

A drunk was sitting next to a woman in a bus stinking of alcohol the man was talking too much and irritating the woman because of the smell. At the next stop it was time for the woman to get off.
 As she was standing up to get off, she looked at the drunk and said "you are drunk and you stink!" The man just sat there quietly, after the woman got off the bus and the bus started to moved, the man opened the window and yelled at her "at least tomorrow I'll be sober but you...you will still be ugly!"

Official Google Africa Blog: Next Stop for the g|Day Train: Nigeria and Ghana in March!

Official Google Africa Blog: Next Stop for the g|Day Train: Nigeria and Ghana in March!

Beign Polite

                                                                  

I work as a pediatric nurse, and often have the painful job of giving shots to children. One day upon entering the examining room to give a shot the little girl started screaming “NO! NO! NO!”
“Jessica” her mother scolded, “that is not polite behavior!”
At that the girl continued to scream “NO THANK YOU! NO THANK YOU! NO THANK YOU!”…

GOD bless

A Young boy sat at the side of his bed one night and said 'God Bless Granddad'.
The next morning his grand dad is lying dead on the floor.
Next Night he says 'God bless Grandma'.
The next morning his Grand ma s lying dead On the floor.
Next Night he says 'God bless Dad', but his dad overhears and goes straight to the hospital to get check out. All seems fine and he returns home to find the milkman dead on his doorstep.

Who stole the pencil

The teacher asks Jimmy:
Teacher: “Jimmy, why aren’t you writing?”
Jimmy: “I don’t haven a pencil.”
Teacher: “Jimmy, that’s not a correct sentence. The correct way is: I don’t have a pencil; he doesn’t have a pencil; we don’t have a pencil.”
Jimmy: “Who stole all the pencils then?”

I am still paying

How much does it cost to get married?

A little boy asked his father: “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?”

The father replied: “I don’t know son, I’m still paying.”

ELEPHANT

The class teacher asks students to name an animal that begins with an “E”. One boy says, “Elephant.”
Then the teacher asks for an animal that begins with a “T”. The same boy says, “Two elephants.”
The teacher sends the boy out of the class for bad behavior. After that she asks for an animal beginning with “M”.
The boy shouts from the other side of the wall: “Maybe an elephant!”